Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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