We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
I just cut my nipple shaving
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
Randomize
