He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
