In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
She took me to ER. She says thought it was a squirtgun filled with vodka and she was 'marking me for later.' Thank god it's a flesh wound, and we're cool and going to date.
gtg, the cops are here
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
