I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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