I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
