I feel like I'm in dance class right now
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
Randomize
