I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
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