playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
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