I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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