Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
