In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Randomize
