I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
So squirting runs in the family.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize