You kept calling me your small dog last night.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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