you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
