I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
