We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Drunk is a universal language darling
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