And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
