i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
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