that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
This is Jewish guilt versus Irish Catholic guilt. We should tread carefully, or we could fuck up the space-time continuum or something.
I'm okay with that.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
