check it out our google latitudes are spooning
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
