hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
And my parents said I crawled through the house
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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