I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
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