A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
