had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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