I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
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