How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I just woke up on my kitchen floor using a yellow pages as a pillow and surrounded by plants that used to be in the garden around my apt building, can't wait to see the security tapes for my eviction
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
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