it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
