so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
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