oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Randomize
