there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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