Idk if this white stuff in my shower is conditioner or... something else?
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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