Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
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