Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
