There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize
