i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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