Is it bad everytime a fat person orders fraps I want to tell them to slow their rolls
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
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