I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Sorry, I don't speak sober.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
