i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
Randomize
