Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
