I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
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