happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
Randomize
