I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
