Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
