Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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