Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
So my balls are accidently making an appearance on snapchat
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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