I accidentally burped into my bong.
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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