Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
Randomize
