so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I feel like I should have backed off when "I love you" came out on the third date. Now I'm in her bed wondering which door my shrine is behind. Fuck.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
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