Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
