I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Tomorrow is Have Sex and Climb A Mountain Day. We have amazing dates.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
