Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
