"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Randomize
