My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
