she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
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