allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
My penis needs a shock collar
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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