Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
Randomize
