Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
