remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
