I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Randomize
