That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
