If i come over, it means nothing
I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
